Short and Sweet
by HR always live on
Summary: A collection of short idea's about what could happen with Harry and Ruth's relationship. I don't know how long this will end up being! Merry Christmas and Happy new year chapters up.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a collection of short Harry and Ruth scenes. They don't go in any order at all but they are just little ideas I have. Hope you like them. All reviews are appreciated. xxx  
_

_

* * *

_

Ruth was going cross eyed. She had been staring at her computer screen for way too long. She sighed and closed her eyes briefly.

At the same time Harry had been watching her through the window of his office. She looked so tired but he knew that she wouldn't go home if he suggested it. Harry watched for long minutes as she fell asleep at her desk. He felt so much love for her as her face relaxed leaving the worry of the day behind. Harry left his office quietly, he didn't want to disturb her. He walked up to her and saw that her head was resting on a pile of files. Her hair was fanned around and he longed to touch her but he didn't quite dare.

"Ruth," he said quietly trying to wake her gently. She didn't stir a muscle. Harry was finding this incredibly hard. So often had he dreamed of waking up next to her that her sleeping face was bringing back all of his hopes.

"Ruth?" he repeated. She mumbled a little in her sleep but still didn't wake. He gently brushed his fingers through her hair. He couldn't stop himself. In her sleep Ruth moved her head marginally closer to his hand. Harry looked at her and stroked her cheek gently. So often had he wanted to do that. Ideally, not when she was asleep but even so…

"Ruth you need to wake up," Harry said quietly. He still had his hand in her hair as her eyes fluttered open. He was frozen and couldn't seem to move as Ruth woke up. She sat up and Harry's hand fell away. She looked around confused.

"Oh, sorry Harry," she said flustered and embarrassed at having been caught asleep at her desk. "I'll… just go home." Ruth stacked her files up and neatened her hair. Harry still hadn't moved a muscle. He just stood watching her.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked as Ruth collected herself.

"Yes," Ruth said firmly. She sighed and rubbed her eyes briefly. "I'll see you tomorrow Harry." They locked eyes for a moment and neither could look away. A lot was said in the silence. Ruth couldn't bring her blue eyes away from his brown ones so she closed her eyes for a few seconds to break the connection. She opened them in shock when she suddenly felt Harry's lips against her own.

"Harry…" Ruth said quietly as his face was uncomfortably near hers.

"Goodnight Ruth," Harry said leaving her and going back into his office. Ruth stared around the grid wondering at what on earth had just happened.

* * *

Ruth had been so exhausted but that was wiped from her mind when she kept reliving what had happened with Harry before she left the grid. She was lying in bed and she couldn't sleep. She wished she had said something to him. Anything rather than just leaving the grid as soon as possible. She had run away because she was afraid. She picked up her mobile phone and debated calling Harry. She didn't know what she wanted to do. She threw her phone on her bedside table and decided not to call. As soon as she had made this decision her phone started ringing. Ruth sat up in bed and looked at the screen. It was Harry. She took a deep breath before she answered it. She knew she couldn't ignore it.

"Harry," Ruth said as she picked up.

"Hi," he said slowly. "I… I don't actually know why I'm calling."

"That's okay," Ruth said. It was very soothing to her to hear his voice.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Ruth asked bewildered.

"For… the kiss. Before you left," Harry said feeling very uncomfortable.

"Don't. Please don't apologise," Ruth said quietly. "I don't want you to," she added quietly.

"That's good," Harry said fighting to hide the relief that went through him as she said that. There was a long silence on the phone. "Did I wake you?"

"No," Ruth said honestly. "I couldn't sleep. I'll see you tomorrow Harry."

"Goodnight Ruth," he said and he put the phone down.


	2. Chapter 2

_This is a really sad one which had me going through my tissue box. Was in two minds whether to post this one of not._

_

* * *

_

Ruth was trapped in a dark room. She could almost taste the fear and she hated it. She was so frightened and she had no idea what was going to happen to her. The sound of the door lock opening at the other end of the room sent her into a scream. She couldn't hold it in as the dark figure approached her with a knife in his hand.

The scream woke her up and Ruth raced from her bed and went to the bathroom. She was shaking badly. The nightmare mixed with her memories was still fresh in her mind and she couldn't stop thinking about it. She gripped the edge of the sink tightly and shut her eyes, trying to block out the images racing through her head. The bathroom door opened and Ruth didn't move. She knew her screaming would have woken Harry but she didn't need to feel guilty on top of everything else. She was gripping the edge of the sink so hard that she could feel her wedding ring biting into her skin.

Harry covered her hand with his own lightly. She was glad that he didn't try to comfort her in any other way. Her breathing was slowly coming back to normal. At the same time she felt her legs go from underneath her and she crumpled to the floor.

"I'm sorry," Ruth said with her eyes still shut.

"Sh," Harry said quietly, sitting next to her on the bathroom floor. Ruth couldn't help the tears that escaped from her closed eyes. He was so understanding that it made her love him all the more. The sharp images from her dream were fading. She reached for Harry's hand blindly and grasped it tightly. He raised it to his lips and gently kissed the scar on the back of her hand.

Ruth opened her eyes and brushed her tears away with her free hand. Harry put a hand to her face and gently ran his thumb over the healing scar on her cheek. Ruth tried to move away from his touch. She hated how horrible her face now looked and she didn't want Harry looking at her scars either. He wouldn't let her hide her face away. He held her chin gently, but firmly and she looked into his eyes for a moment. Harry could see the tears glistening on her eyelashes and the sight of that broke his heart.

"You're beautiful," he murmured quietly. He didn't want to frighten her so he didn't kiss her even though he badly wanted to. Ruth suddenly got up and looked in the mirror at the marks that covered her face.

"How can you say that?" she asked quietly. "It'll never heal properly. You know that."

"And you know that's not what matters," Harry said calmly. Ruth leant back against him and he put an arm around her waist gently.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Ruth said after a minutes silence. "I know it's the fifth night this week…" she tailed off trying to make the guilt fade away.

"You're safe," Harry said slowly. "That's all that matters." Ruth nodded and got back into bed as Harry did the same next to her. She needed to be close to him so she snuggled up close to his chest and he put an arm carefully around her. As he did that Ruth felt her demons fade away into the night.

* * *

More to come soon! Please review if you have time. xxx


	3. Chapter 3

_A little more lighthearted than the last one. Thanks for your reviews guys. I imagine this somewhere at the begining of series five but it could go anywhere really.  
_

_

* * *

_

Ruth was flicking impatiently through her files. She was looking for a certain sheet of paper and she was sure it was here somewhere.

"Damn it!" Ruth whispered under her breath as the edge of a sheet of paper sliced her thumb open. She started sucking her thumb to stop the bleeding but then got distracted. She had found the information she wanted. She speed read the paper and then looked up as the pods whirred open. It was Harry. He was talking on the phone as he walked to his office and Ruth watched his progress and smiled, daydreaming a little.

She watched until he shut his office door and then looked back at her work. Blood was spotting the top sheet of paper. She had been so busy watching Harry that she hadn't even noticed. Ruth sighed. She got up and tried to find a plaster from the first aid box to stop getting blood anywhere else.

As she sat back down Harry came out of his office. He walked over to her desk through the otherwise empty grid. Ruth smiled to herself, loving the fact that she knew he would stop at her desk. Which he did.

"Everything alright?" Ruth asked in a falsely calm voice.

"Yes," Harry said. "The Home Secretary…" he tailed off when he saw blood dotted on the papers that Ruth had been reading. "What happened?"

"Oh, I cut my finger," Ruth explained simply. Harry looked at her for a few, long seconds.

"Oh," he said. There was a lot of meaning behind that one word.

"What about the Home Secretary?" Ruth said going back to their previous conversation.

"It doesn't matter," Harry said quietly. He gently touched her injured finger which was resting on the desk. She felt her heart skip a beat just from that simple touch and wished it could last forever. Or at least a few moments more.

"Goodnight Ruth." Harry left the grid and Ruth watched him every step as he vanished into the night. She looked down at her plastered covered finger and smiled. Maybe she should cut her finger more often.


	4. Chapter 4

Ruth had been tossing and turning all night. These days she was finding it incredibly difficult to sleep. Whenever she was alone with little to do her mind went to Harry. This was not the best thing to allow her to get a decent nights sleep. At four a.m. she gave up. Sleep was clearly not her friend. She took a quick shower and then headed for the one place she felt truly at home. Thames House.

It was pouring with rain when she got there. She spent a good five minutes enjoying the feeling of the water on her skin before going into the building. She sat behind her desk and shrugged her coat off. She ran her fingers through her wet hair, trying to ease the tangles. Ruth then switched on her computer as was her habit and waited for the screen to load. She leant back against her chair and closed her eyes. Funny, how she seemed to be so much more relaxed at work than at her own house.

She began typing away more out of habit than because she had any work to do. It was five minutes before she noticed someone watching her. Harry stood a few meters away from her. He didn't say a word. He was watching the way her damp hair was curling around her face in the glow from her computer and didn't think he'd ever seen something as beautiful. He realised that he had been standing in silence staring at her for several minutes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep," Ruth said simply. "And I ended up here. Why are you here?" Ruth asked curiously.

"Same," Harry said honestly. He walked closer to her desk and she had a small smile on her lips which she was trying unsuccessfully to hide.

"Aren't we two sad people," Ruth said. "It's five in the morning and we're both at work." Harry smiled briefly.

"Promise me you'll go home early," Harry said quietly. Ruth didn't even bother answering. They both knew she wouldn't. Harry walked to his office and Ruth spent the next ten minutes watching him through the window. He had a way of completely distracting her by doing nothing more than walking into his office. She shook her head and looked back at her work.

Meanwhile Harry had been watching her watching him on the CCTV through his computer. He was pleased to see that every couple of minutes she kept looking up and watching him. Harry smiled and thought that maybe coming into work early hadn't been such a bad idea after all.


	5. Chapter 5

_This is more or less how I imagine (or maybe hope) series ten kicking off._

_

* * *

_

Ruth was wandering around the kitchen. Fidget was wandering around her legs, desperate to be fed.

"Okay," Ruth muttered, getting the cat food out as her toast popped up from the toaster. Once the cat was happily eating she poured herself some coffee and spread butter on her toast. Then she sat down and ate her breakfast quickly. She was going to be late if she didn't get a move on. Ruth had forgotten to set her alarm which wasn't like her. But she was happier than she could remember being in a while and that wasn't like her either.

As she was sipping her coffee she heard someone coming downstairs. Ruth smiled as Harry appeared in the kitchen. The reason she had been so distracted the night before.

"You're going to be late," he said after kissing her briefly.

"I know," Ruth replied, gathering her things together. "I hate this by the way. Going into work without you. It's not right."

"Yeah, I don't like it either," Harry replied. "I didn't plan to get suspended. Anyway its just until the enquiry's over." Ruth bit her lip knowing that was a lie. They had no idea how this was going to end up but they were both guessing it wasn't going to be good. Ruth glanced at her watch.

"I have to go," she said firmly. Harry nodded and kissed her before she left. It was a long kiss which lasted several minutes.

"I really have to go," she repeated trying to stop smiling. Harry looked at her for a long moment, his eyes twinkling. Ruth didn't say another word, she simply grabbed her keys and left. As she shut the door behind her she tried her best to ignore the surveillance van across the road from the house. It had been there for days and she was under no illusions that they were being watched. Ruth sighed and headed towards Thames House.


	6. Chapter 6

_This one is a little longer than my previous ones. Hope you still like it._

_This takes place directly after Lucas jumps from the building._

_

* * *

_

Ruth couldn't stop the tears falling down her face. Tariq was behind her and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't think of a single thing to say to Ruth who was clearly devastated. The phone started to ring in front of Ruth but she was in no state to answer it so Tariq leant around her and picked it up.

"Yes?"

"I have some news," Beth's voice said. It did not sound good.

"And?"

"Someone's fallen off of a building," Beth said slowly. "It looks like Harry was pushed." Tariq didn't say anything wondering how on earth he was going to break this to Ruth when she already suspected the worst. "How is she?"

"Bad," Tariq said calmly. "What do I tell her?" he added quietly. Ruth was crying but she managed to hear that and looked around at Tariq, her eyes wide with fear.

"What?" Ruth asked, breathing heavily. Tariq put the phone down and looked at Ruth.

"Someone's fallen off a building," Tariq started. Ruth began shaking her head. "It seems like Harry."

"No," Ruth whispered quietly still shaking her head. "No." She covered her face with both her hands and quietly fell apart. Ruth actually felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Oh God," she said quietly as the tears kept falling. "No. This can't… can't be true." Tariq put a hand on her shoulder gently. Ruth shrugged him off and walked blindly to Harry's office. She shut the door and pulled the blinds closed. She needed to be alone. Ruth ran her fingertips over Harry's desk, unable to believe that he would never touch his things again. She sat down in Harry's chair and leant against the desk. She still couldn't pull in together and stop crying. She couldn't imagine having to exist in a world that he didn't. Her breathing was so shallow that she considered for a moment that she might actually faint.

She slammed her hand down on the desk but missed and her knuckles caught on the handle of one of the draws which flew open. Ruth screwed her face up because of the agony she was feeling through her heart. After a minute she opened her eyes and moved to close the draw.

"No," Ruth said in a whisper. She had seen a box in the draw and took it out. She slowly opened it and was looking at a beautiful engagement ring. It didn't take her long to work out that it had once been meant for her. Ruth shut her eyes again and felt the tears flow from her closed lids.

"Why?" she said to herself. "Why did I say no?" Ruth took a look around the office once more. "I can't do this." Ruth put the engagement ring back and left Harry's office. She walked back to the grid and saw Dimitri, Beth and Tariq looking downcast. They all looked at her. Ruth walked slowly and sat behind her desk. She stared blankly at the screen thinking about Harry. She didn't care that everyone was watching her.

After an unknown amount of time had gone passed the pods whirred open. Ruth didn't look. No one she wanted to see would come through those doors. Never again. She hardly noticed when everyone stared at the new arrival. She was so lost in her own grief she didn't care. Ruth only looked up when Harry stood in front of her. Her blue eyes went incredibly wide.

"What the hell are you doing here!" Ruth screamed, standing up from behind her desk. "I've been imagining you plastered all over the London streets for more than an hour!"

"Shall we go to my office," Harry suggested quietly very aware that everyone was watching them very closely. Ruth nodded and followed Harry through to his office. The blinds were already drawn and she closed the door. Ruth then turned and looked at him.

"Do you want to explain why you're not…dead?" Ruth said in a broken voice. She couldn't stand up anymore and collapsed into a chair and closed her eyes.

"Lucas jumped," Harry said quietly. With those words Ruth felt the events of the last day catch up with her. She started crying again with her eyes still closed. She was about to wipe her tears away when she felt Harry's hand on her cheek, his thumb trying to erase her tears. Ruth opened her eyes and looked into Harry's face, which was closer to her than was comfortable. Harry leant in closer to her and brushed his lips softly against hers. Ruth had been through so much that she couldn't even bring herself to be surprised.

"Ruth…" Harry said slowly. The way he put so much emotion into her name made her heart pound so hard. Ruth decided to forget logic for a few moments. She leant forward towards him and kissed him. It was all the encouragement he needed to deepen their kiss. It lasted a gorgeous few minutes and Harry's hands had started to trace her face and run through her hair. He left her lips and started kissing her neck, revelling in the fact that they were both still alive. His lips found her pulse beating in her neck and he remembered how close he had come to losing her.

"Harry…" Ruth said breathlessly.

"Don't make me stop, Ruth," he whispered against her skin. It sent shivers down her spine. "Please, don't tell me to stop."

"I just don't think this is a brilliant idea," Ruth said quietly. Harry felt his heart drop to the basement. "Not here, when everyone is on the grid waiting for us to come out." Ruth's eyes were sparkling with emotion but Harry wasn't entirely sure what he was reading on her face. She grasped his hand tightly. "Just not now," she said firmly with a small smile on her face. Harry took her meaning and kissed her briefly before confronting the rest of the team about his return from the dead.

* * *

More to come soon!


	7. Chapter 7

_This is a very happy fluffy one. To make up for the next one which is depressing. Thanks for your reviews guys. Makes my day. xxx_

_

* * *

_

Ruth was awake but she kept her eyes firmly closed. She could feel the sunlight shining in the window and it felt like a perfect day.

"Wake up Ruth," Harry's voice said quietly, breaking through her sleep hazed mind.

"No," Ruth mumbled snuggling deeper into the duvet with a smile on her face.

"We've got to get to work," Harry said trying to make her move.

"I thought there was supposed to be an advantage to having the boss wrapped around my little finger," Ruth said unable to stop the giggle that escaped her lips. Harry kissed her neck gently which didn't exactly give her incentive to move.

"I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world if we were a _little_ late," Harry said as he continued kissing her.

"The world won't end?" Ruth queried in a low voice.

"I don't care," Harry murmured kissing her lips.

"You do care," Ruth said. After a long minute, Ruth got up and threw the first item of clothing she found on which turned out to be Harry's shirt. She went downstairs and made some coffee. She needed the caffeine burst. It took Harry five minutes to follow her by which time Ruth was making herself some toast with marmalade.

"If I'd have known how good you looked wearing nothing but my shirt it wouldn't have taken eight years for us to get together," Harry said wrapping an arm around her waist. Ruth blushed but she didn't say anything. He let her go when his phone started ringing. A short conversation followed and then Harry put the phone down.

"We're needed at Thames House," Harry told her briefly. Ruth didn't have it in her to feel sad or worried at the impending disaster. All she could feel was happy. She took an extra sip of coffee and then returned upstairs to get dressed. With a massive smile on her face.


	8. Chapter 8

Don't read this if you like happy endings. I was thouroughly miserable when I wrote it.

* * *

Harry walked down the corridor quickly, barely pausing to take in his surroundings as he did so. He opened a door halfway down the corridor and went inside, trying to be quiet. He sat down next to Ruth's hospital bed and kissed her forehead gently. Ruth opened her eyes, as if sensing his presence there.

"Hi," she said in a quiet voice that broke his heart. Her beautiful blue eyes had lost their sparkle because of the terrible illness that was slowly robbing her of everything she had left. But she still had the ghost of a smile on her face as she looked at the love of her life.

"You should sleep," Harry said quietly, taking hold of her hand. He felt her fingers flutter weakly as she tried to squeeze his hand back. "How are you feeling today?" Harry asked.

Ruth took a moment before answering him. There could be no good answer to that question. "Okay," she whispered.

"I can always tell when you're lying," Harry said trying to smile. He didn't manage it very well. Ruth couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. To tell him that every breath hurt, that she couldn't even look in the mirror anymore because of the way her face was wasting away. To look at all manner of frightening tubes coming from her body made her feel sick. She knew it would hurt him more than anything else she could ever say.

"Harry?" she said, making sure she was looking him in the eye.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"I love you."

"Don't you dare," Harry said loudly. "You're not dying, I won't let you."

"Harry…" Ruth said. She didn't have the energy to continue when he interrupted her.

"No!" Harry said. "You do not get to say goodbye to me. Do you understand me?"

"Harry," Ruth started again. "I'm dying."

"No," Harry said again.

"I know it and when I look into your eyes I know that you know it too," Ruth said. It had taken a lot of her limited energy to say that. Harry seemed speechless for once. Ruth closed her eyes and her grip on his hand loosened.

"No," Harry said quieter. "Ruth, open your eyes. You have to keep looking at me." She didn't, but she managed to speak a little.

"I can't," Ruth said quietly. "I don't have the strength anymore, Harry." He watched her fall asleep, fighting the fear that he would never see her eyes again.

"Don't leave me," Harry murmured after minutes of silence. He gently traced her face with his thumb "Please don't leave me. After everything we have been through together. Please."

Harry wasn't all that surprised when several doctors came in, concerned over her condition. There was nothing they could do for her. Harry knew that but it didn't help. He felt his heart stop as the monitor reading her heart rate flat lined. The doctors had terrible looks on their faces and left them alone as it became clear that there was no hope Ruth would ever wake up again.

"Oh God no," Harry said hoarsely, watching her pale face. He held her close and wouldn't let go. He couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his face and fell into her hair.

* * *

More soon. Please review if you have the time. xxx


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks for the reviews. This is a little less depressing.  
_

_

* * *

_

"I remember that day," Ruth said quietly, thinking about Cyprus. "The day when I knew that I would be coming back. Coming home." Harry raised an eyebrow but said nothing, not wanting to interrupt. They were both the last on the grid that night. They were in his office after an incredibly hard day. Key members of the government had been held at gun point and it had taken hours of work to find out who was doing it and talk them down.

"When I knew that I would see you again… I can't even describe it." Ruth felt like she had said far too much. She knew if she hadn't been working twenty four hours straight, if she had had more sleep and if she hadn't had a drink she would never have said this. Not that it wasn't true. Because it was.

"Then why Ruth?" Harry asked slowly. Ruth didn't even pretend to misunderstand. She knew what he was really asking her. Why had she said no to him. She had asked herself the same question repeatedly since that had happened a few weeks ago.

"I don't know," Ruth said honestly. "But asking at a funeral isn't exactly the best way to sweep a girl off her feet, Harry."

He smiled at her over his glass of whiskey, his eyes sparkling. "I'll remember that." After a slightly awkward pause he went on in a dangerously low voice. "What proposal would have made you give a different answer?"

"A thousand yellow daisies," Ruth said looking at her hands and smiling. "Never mind. Just… next time? Don't wait until a funeral to ask me."

Ruth couldn't stay in his office anymore. Not when it seemed to be getting smaller with every passing second. She got up gracefully and left Harry on his own. He stayed stock still, watching her leave the grid. Her words had given him hope. And that was something he hadn't felt about Ruth in a long time.

Ruth came in to work the next day feeling a little foolish. She had said far too much to Harry yesterday and was almost hoping that he wouldn't mention it. Or even better that he'd forget about it completely. But her luck didn't often run the way she wanted it to.

She sat down behind her computer and began to get to work for the morning. Then her eyes were drawn down to her desk. Something wasn't right. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before she sat down. A small box was sat on her desk. It had a single yellow daisy resting on top of it.

"Oh my God," Ruth said quietly. She delicately touched the petals of the daisy thinking that this was the most romantic flower in the world. After several seconds she put the flower down and snapped open the box. A beautiful diamond engagement ring sparkled back at her. She closed her eyes, knowing that her second chance had come around. What she hadn't realised was that Harry had come out of his office and was watching her. He moved and leant over her desk, his head closer to hers than she had expected.

"Marry me," he said in a low voice. Ruth looked at the daisy so she wouldn't have to look at Harry. She smiled, and in that one moment, she knew that Harry would do anything for her.

"Yes."

_The yellow daisy reference is a personal one to me. I was being self indulgent but I hope it still reads ok. Reviews always welcomed. I have a busy weekend so there won't be anymore until Monday at the earliest.  
_


	10. Chapter 10

Ruth slowly woke up with a massive smile on her face and her eyes firmly shut. She was reliving some of the more memorable moments from the night before. She reached an arm across the bed to touch Harry but found nothing. Ruth opened her eyes and looked at the empty bed, confused. After a minute she got up to see if she could find him. Downstairs in the kitchen she saw a note propped up by the kettle with handwriting she recognised instantly.

_Ruth,_

_I had to go into work unexpectedly early today and I couldn't bear to wake you. Don't rush in. I'll see you later today._

_H x_

Ruth had a smile on her face as she finished reading it. She made herself some tea and then got dressed. She found her mobile phone and called Harry's office.

"Yes?" his voice said in a tense voice.

"Bad day?" Ruth asked.

"Oh. Hi," Harry said, his voice softening when he realised who was calling him. "How are you?"

"Very disappointed," Ruth replied. "I woke up alone."

"Yeah, I had to go," Harry said. "You looked so beautiful asleep that I didn't want to wake you." Ruth felt her stomach flip with happiness when he said that.

"Which is good in theory but incredibly annoying when I realise that you decided work was more important than me."

"Ruth…"

"I'm joking," she said calmly. "Do you need me?" she added in a more serious voice.

"I always need you," Harry murmured.

"I meant…" Ruth started fighting the blush that was colouring her cheeks.

"I know what you meant. Yes. It's going to be a long day."

"I'll be on the grid soon. Bye," Ruth said putting the phone down.

* * *

_If you have time I would love a review. Thanks to everyone reading this._


	11. Chapter 11

_I imagine this to take place after Harry is threatened with the enquiry._

_

* * *

_

"No," Ruth said firmly. She was watching Harry who was sitting behind his desk in his office. Everyone else had left the grid and, as usual they were the only two left.

"They are going to hang me out to dry," he began slowly. "Let me retire. Let me leave with my head held high."

"I will do no such thing," Ruth said trying hard to refrain from shouting.

"Ruth…"

"No!" she said loudly. "Do you know what they will do if you retire? Have you even thought about it? I was called into the DG's office today to discuss the latest situation in our department. He dropped some very heavy handed hints that if you left, I would be seriously considered as the next section head."

Harry had not expected that. He raised his eyebrows and thought hard for a moment or two. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

"Harry!" Ruth shouted, shocked. "Yes it would be a bad thing."

"Why?" Harry asked, his mouth twitching with a barely concealed smile.

"Because," Ruth started and then she came to a stalling point. "That's your job," she finished lamely. "And I don't have your appreciation for whiskey."

"Ruth, remember Cotterdam?"

"I'm not likely to forget it am I?" Ruth said trying to skate over the painful memory.

"You knew," Harry said quietly. "You knew that there was a drop even when I told you to forget it. Even when I told you that you were wrong."

"But I wasn't wrong," Ruth said smiling.

"No. You weren't," Harry said. "You also weren't wrong when you decided to put Lucas under surveillance."

"I wish I had been."

"Your instincts are always right Ruth," he said calmly. "I can think of no one else who could handle being section head the way you could." There was a heavy silence which Ruth tried to break.

"Well it's all academic because you're not leaving," Ruth said. "And even if you did I could never do what you do."

"You could Ruth," he said.

"Fine maybe I could, but I wouldn't," she replied. "I wouldn't come into work everyday knowing…. Knowing that you wouldn't be here."

"I'll be leaving anyway," Harry said. "Even if I wanted to stay they'll find a way to get rid of me."

"Since when were you one to give up on a fight?" Ruth asked, her blue eyes twinkling.

"I'll tell you what," Harry said. "I won't give up the fight if you go out to dinner with me. Tonight. Now. Before you can think about it and change your mind."

"That sounds like a very good idea," Ruth said, unable to stop smiling as they both left his office together.

* * *

_This is one of my favourites. Hope you enjoyed it. More to come soon._


	12. Chapter 12

_This one is devastatingly sad. Please don't kill me! I did warn you._

_

* * *

_

Ruth sat in the car unable to move a muscle. This was, without a doubt going to be the hardest day of her life and she had no idea how she was going to make it through. She opened the door of the car and slammed it shut. The noise startled her and she realised how quiet it was.

She looked at the church and knew she couldn't go in. It was a feeling in her bones. She just couldn't go in. Ruth turned and walked away from the building. She went into the first coffee shop she saw and sat by the window, to watch the world go by. Wrapping her fingers around her hot mug of tea she watched the grey clouds break and the rain fall down.

The door of the shop kept opening but Ruth could feel it when Beth came in without looking up. The blonde spook sat opposite her and said nothing.

"I couldn't," Ruth said in a hollow voice, staring at the table.

"I know." Beth reached out and touched the back of Ruth's hand lightly.

"Have they all gone?" Ruth asked after a pause.

"Yes." Ruth shut her eyes in relief. She didn't need to be inside a church with people who didn't really care about the fact that Harry was dead. Most people there didn't even know him. The real Harry. Their world wouldn't be any different without Harry in it. But hers would be. Her life could never go back to what it was only a week ago. Had it really only been a mere seven days? She opened her eyes and saw Beth staring at her, a look of intense sadness on her face.

"Don't look at me like that," Ruth said in a hard voice. "I'm already finding it incredibly hard to breathe so if you look at me like that I am going to fall apart. So stop it. Now." Beth moved her eyes to her hands. She had no idea what to say to Ruth. Because the horrible truth was this situation couldn't be worse. There was nothing she could say that would help.

"Is it really difficult to breathe?" Beth asked quietly.

"Yes," Ruth said simply looking her friend in the eye. "Because every single breath I take reminds me that I'm alive. And that I'm living in a world in which he no longer exists. That I will never see his face again. Every time I breathe I hear the echoes of the shot that killed him. So yes, it is hard. And I don't think it will ever get easier."

"It will," Beth said quietly.

"No it won't," Ruth replied. "I know it won't." She paused and the couldn't take the silence anymore. "I have to go." Ruth stood up shakily and left the café. She stood outside in the pouring rain and took slow steps towards the graveyard.

When she got there she stood several feet away from the pile of earth that marked Harry's final resting place. There was no gravestone yet but she knew it was him. She had seen the empty grave that very morning before the funeral.

"You stupid man," Ruth said quietly. "Getting in the way of a psychopath holding a gun? What were you thinking!" She took a deep shaky breath and tried to ignore the tears falling down her face, mingling with the rain.

"How could you leave me?" she whispered. She looked at the small pile of earth and felt her heart shatter. It was as if she was accepting it. Seeing him buried under the ground made it real in a way that even seeing him dead in the hospital hadn't been able to do.

She desperately needed him to hold her hand. To tell her that everything was going to be alright. It hurt her so badly, knowing this would never happen again.

"I love you Harry," she said quietly. "I wish I hadn't been too scared to tell you when you could hear me. I'm sorry."

Ruth stood in the rain until the day faded into night. She couldn't bear to leave him. Not again.

* * *

_There will be light hearted moments coming. I promise! Reviews are very welcome. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. xxx  
_


	13. Chapter 13

_Thanks for your reviews guys. They make me want to continue writing this. Less depressing now._

_

* * *

_

It was ten in the evening and Ruth was curled up on her sofa reading a well worn copy of Dragonfly in Amber with a glass of red wine. Her doorbell rang and it took a good minute for Ruth to tear her eyes away from the page, slip her bookmark in and answer the door. She wasn't very surprised to see Harry standing there. His face clouded over when he saw that Ruth had tears in her eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said with a small smile. "Come in." Ruth retreated back to her living room and Harry followed her. Ruth sat back on the sofa and wiped her tears away from her face impatiently.

"I can come back another time," Harry began, uncomfortable that she seemed so upset.

"No, I'm fine," Ruth said firmly, taking a sip of wine. "So what did you want?"

Harry didn't know what to say. The truth was he just wanted to see her. He had no excuse, however implausible it might be and he couldn't think of any now. So he settled for ignoring her question.

"Why are you crying?"

Ruth smiled briefly and lifted up her book. "Because of this. It's stupid. Crying because of words written on a page." She rolled her eyes and Harry thought it was the most endearing thing he had ever seen her do. Her tears still clinging to her eyelashes.

"Its only the seventh time I've read it," she continued.

"Why do you read a book that you know makes you cry?"

"Because its beautiful," Ruth said simply. Her eyes were downcast to the spine of the book and her fingertips gently traced the title. Harry got the feeling he was interrupting and he was an unwelcome presence in her house.

"I'll leave you to it," Harry said, heading towards the door.

"No, wait!" Ruth said loudly getting up from the sofa. "Why were you here in the first place?"

Harry took a deep breath and decided to swallow his pride. "Because I wanted to see you."

"Oh," Ruth said quietly, her blue eyes boring into his hazel ones. She felt like she should look away from him but for once in her life, she fought the urge. She refused to move her eyes away. After a moment she made a snap decision.

She gently pressed her lips against his. Ruth tried to break away from him after a few seconds but she couldn't. It took a moment to realise that Harry's hands were tightly gripped around her arms. And he wasn't going to let her go. Not this time.

He kissed her much more passionately than before. She responded eagerly to his touch and all thought of him leaving her house promptly vanished from both of their minds.

* * *

_I do not own the book. When I first read it I was an emotional wreck._

_More coming soon. I would love a review if you have the time xxx  
_


	14. Chapter 14

_Ok, a very short one here, but a slightly longer one is coming straight after._

_

* * *

_

Beth was staring at her computer screen wondering if she was actually asleep with her eyes open. It was six pm when she gave up and turned her terminal off. She turned to Ruth who was working away and biting her lip as she read a report. She didn't seem to like what she was reading.

"I don't know how you do it," Beth said touching up her lip gloss before she left the grid.

"Do what?" Ruth asked looking up.

"You're here first thing in the morning and you work hours longer than anyone else. You're always last to leave. How do you do it?"

Ruth rolled her eyes with a smile. "I'm used to it." Her eyes were drawn to Harry's office as she spoke. "Anyway, its not like I'm here on my own."

Beth followed her gaze. She was watching Harry who was on the phone. Beth raised her eyebrows but didn't say a word. She left the grid, leaving the two of them alone. As usual.

* * *

_Thank you for your wonderful reviews. xxx_


	15. Chapter 15

Ruth woke up as she felt Harry kiss the hollow of her throat. She turned to face him, smiling.

"Good morning," she said, never feeling happier.

"Mm," he said sleepily. "You know you talk in your sleep?"

"I knew I used to," Ruth said fiddling with her hair gently. "What did I say?" she added, suddenly worried.

"Nothing bad," he reassured her, touching her face softly. "You started mumbling about unexploded bombs at around two in the morning."

"God, I can't even get away from terrorism in my sleep can I?" Ruth said.

"Then that changed into "Why?" which you kept repeating a lot," Harry continued.

"Sorry," Ruth said with a smile, too happy to feel guilty. "Did I keep you up?"

"Couldn't sleep anyway," Harry said kissing her lips slowly. "Every time I closed my eyes I worried that I was dreaming. Either that or you wouldn't be here when I woke up." He kissed her again cutting off her protests. She sighed quietly with happiness when he let her go.

"You sound happy," Harry said.

"I am." He stroked her hair and then reached for something that Ruth couldn't see.

"You said something else in your sleep," Harry said in a low voice.

"What?"

"You kept saying "why did I say no?"" Harry didn't wait for her to reply. He handed over a box silently. Ruth looked at it knowing that an engagement ring was held inside it. She slowly opened it up and saw a beautiful diamond and sapphire ring inside it. It was just the sort of jewellery she loved. If he had shown her that at Ros's funeral it would have been a great deal harder to say no. But she no longer wanted to say no to him. So she didn't say anything.

She looked Harry in the eye and he saw them twinkling blue and knew what she was thinking. He didn't say a thing. Instead he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger in silence. They didn't need words to say what they felt for each other.

* * *

_I'm running out of ideas now so I don't know how long it'll be before I update. All reviews are very welcome!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Okay, here is another short one. I didn't mean to make you cry sheldonsgirl18!_

* * *

"What?" Harry shouted at Dimitri.

"Just the messenger," he said trying to back out of Harry's office with all his limbs intact.

"You are telling me that every single surveillance device we have placed in the hotel has been destroyed or has been found to be defective?" Harry said in total shock.

"Yes, and it isn't my fault," Dimitri said calmly. "Tariq's working on fixing the tech problems."

"Well tell him to do it as soon as possible and by that I ideally mean have it done three hours ago," Harry said.

"He's doing his best," Dimitri said. "Next time I have bad news, I'll get Ruth to tell you."

"You do that," Harry said in a dangerously low growl as Dimitri departed from his office. Harry's eyes were drawn to Ruth who was frowning at her computer screen while chatting on the phone. He couldn't even bring himself to care that the whole team knew about his feelings towards her. All he could do was watch her work. And nothing had ever made him feel more at ease than her blue eyes flicking across the screen and the concentration on her face.

* * *

_More soon. I was inspired last night! Thanks for your lovely reviews. xxx_


	17. Chapter 17

"Stop it now," Harry said in a firm voice. Ruth shook her head slowly from behind her desk.

"I can't," she replied.

"You are ill," Harry said, looking at her pale face. Also her blue eyes had lost their usual sparkle (which he liked to imagine was reserved for him.) "Go home. Now. Go home before I sack you."

"You wouldn't," she said with surety. "You couldn't manage without me."

"Of course I couldn't," Harry said sincerely. Ruth was about to reply when she coughed violently, causing her to lose her train of thought.

"Home. Now. This is not a discussion."

"Okay," Ruth said quietly, knowing when she was beaten. "I'll come in tomorrow."

"You'll come in when you feel better," Harry said. Ruth smiled faintly, not bothering to argue. She picked up her coat and left through the pods without another word. Harry watched her go in silence. After a few minutes he retreated to his office. It was always a dull day when Ruth wasn't there to brighten it for him. Beth leant over her desk to talk to Dimitri.

"Do you think he'd be that concerned if either of us turned up at work ill?" she asked him.

"Of course not," Dimitri said simply. "But he uses a special set of rules which he reserves just for Ruth."

Beth rolled her eyes and smiled. Because it was so obviously true.

* * *

_A review would be lovely if you have time. xxx_


	18. Chapter 18

_This one is slightly different but I like it. I hope you do too._

_

* * *

_

"Oh what's this?" Beth said sitting down behind her desk and picking up an envelope. Ruth glanced at her as she opened it.

"Oh good!" Beth said as Dimitri sat opposite her. "A wedding invite to Rosa and John's wedding. I love weddings."

"They're finally getting married then?" Dimitri said beginning to type and ignoring the newly engaged couple from Section E.

"Yes," Beth said with a grin.

"What do you mean? Finally?" Ruth asked blankly. She liked to keep tabs on the people from other sections and to her knowledge they had only been together for a month. "They've hardly gotten to know each other yet."

"Oh, come on Ruth," Dimitri said. "I know I've only been here a matter of months but from the things I hear they have both been after each other for years. And Beth gave them a little… nudge in the right direction."

"Dimitri," Beth said in a warning voice. But he ignored her and carried on.

"Apparently it was screamingly obvious to everyone except the two of them. It took eight years for them to get together. Can you believe that? Eight years!"

"Dimitri!" Beth said louder. Once again she was ignored.

"And on top of ignoring the obvious connection, neither of them did anything about it for so long. Until Beth decided to take matters into her own hands of course. All that wasted time. Its unreal."

"Dimitri!" she shouted. He turned and looked at Beth, completely oblivious to the affect his words had had on Ruth. She had gone very pale and was trying to find somewhere safe to rest her eyes so she wouldn't cry. She hated to see the glaringly obvious similarities between this couples history and the history between herself and Harry. With very different results.

Before any of them could speak again the pods whirred open and Harry came onto the grid. He said good morning to all of them, his eyes lingering on Ruth as he walked to his office. Beth and Dimitri had pretended to be busy with work to give Ruth a few moments to herself. A few moments wasn't enough so she excused herself and went to the ladies room to cry in peace. As soon as she had gone Beth slapped Dimitri.

"Ow! What was that for!" he said, annoyed.

"You insensitive clot headed pig!" Beth said loudly, trying to resist the urge to slap him again. "Can't you leave the poor girl alone? She is desperately in love with Harry and you know that."

"Oh." Dimitri said quietly. It suddenly dawned on him what he'd said. "Oh damn!" he added with more feeling. "I didn't think!"

"Yeah I guessed that!" Beth said with sarcasm. Silence fell and they went back to working.

"By the way, how did you give those two a push in the right direction?" he asked after a moment.

Beth smirked. "I forged a letter from Rosa's doctor saying she had breast cancer and it got "mislaid" into John's internal mail."

"You devious cow," Dimitri said lightly.

"Well if eight years doesn't spur them into action, I thought an imminent death threat might. And it worked," Beth said falling into silence as Ruth came back onto the grid. She wouldn't bring up Harry in conversation and if Dimitri knew what was good for him, he wouldn't either. Beth did have a brief thought though that might help.

"Ruth, who's your doctor?"

"Why?"

* * *

_I love ending it here! All reviews are very very welcome! xxx_


	19. Chapter 19

_Authors note: This CD I mention is amazing. It cost me £17 to have the album imported from America and it is worth every single penny._

_

* * *

_

Ruth was listening to Susie Suh in her living room, her brain racing wildly. It had been a bad day on the grid. So many people had died because of decisions that they had made. It made her feel so horrible, dirty and above all tired. She felt so very tired. At that moment she realised which song was playing. Petrified to be God Like. She didn't need a reminder of how many life and death decisions had been in her hands today.

Her doorbell rang and she ignored it, taking a large sip of wine. It rang again. On the fourth time she got up, really irritated.

"In case you didn't get the message, I don't want to be disturbed," she grumbled to herself, unlocking the door and opening it. It was Harry.

"Oh. Hi," she said briefly. Ruth moved aside and let him in and went back into the living room.

"That was a bad day," he said sitting opposite her.

"And that is the understatement of the year," Ruth said raising her eyebrows. Harry smiled vaguely but it didn't reach his eyes. He was hurting. She knew that because she'd seen him before when he'd lost people. Officers or civilians, the result was the same. Another battle scar on his heart. She wanted to comfort him but she didn't know if he would want her to.

"We're always going to have bad days," Ruth said calmly. "It comes with the job, Harry."

"I know," he replied. "I would just like to have less bad days and more good ones."

"We make our own good days," she said quietly. "They make the bad ones for us."

"My days would all be good if you were by my side," he said in a quiet voice that she could barely hear. But she did hear him.

"Harry…" Ruth said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Okay maybe not all good," he amended. "But I know they would all be better than this. So much better."

"You are only saying this because of the number of people who died today," Ruth said, watching her hands rather than Harry.

"No. I'm not," he said calmly. Her head jolted up as she realised that Harry had walked closer to her. Too close. Before she could think he had kissed her. Nothing she had done in her life had ever felt so good. Not even the kiss they had shared on the dock, before she left for Cyprus years ago. That one had been filled with desperation and loss. This one was filled with longing and hope and wasted years. And it was so much better than the memory.

She couldn't remember standing up but she suddenly found herself upright, her arms around Harry as his fingers ran through her hair. Ruth managed to tear herself away from his lips for the precious few seconds she needed to speak.

"Don't ever let me go again, Harry."

* * *

_This is all I have written so far but I am sure more will be forthcoming soon. Thanks for reading everyone and more soon. I promise. xxx_


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks for your great reviews. Hope you like this one. xxx_

_

* * *

_

"Ruth, I need that intelligence about the Russians," Harry said firmly.

"I'm working on it," she replied. "I am trying to hack into the FSB database but they're a paranoid lot so it isn't easy. Give me time."

"We don't have time," he said.

"Harry!" Ruth said loudly to get his attention. "I am doing the best I can. Okay?" He looked at her and nodded once, turning to Tariq to ask him to monitor some satellite thing that Ruth didn't understand. Or didn't have the time to waste on.

Ruth stared at her computer screen, unable to believe what she was seeing. She knew this wouldn't go down well with Harry. She burst into her office without knocking- the only one who could get away with it.

"Catalina Darkyvych," Ruth said putting an extremely thin file on his desk. "Very minimal information on her. Most importantly she has no known links to any terror group. Not even a suspicion or a whisper."

"How is that possible?" Harry asked frowning at the paperwork.

"I don't know," Ruth said. "But she's either been in the wrong place at the wrong time or she is very clever."

"Well find out which one it is Ruth!" Harry's patience was wearing thin. This was not a good day for his senior analyst to be having research problems.

* * *

At the end of the day Ruth was stifling a yawn as Harry came from his office. Everyone else had gone home. A Russian bomb had gone off in London but they had managed to evacuate the area so no one died which was a relief. She smiled tiredly as Harry approached her desk.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"For what?" Ruth asked blankly.

"For snapping at you earlier," he said as Ruth began to shake her head. "It wasn't your fault."

"Harry, you were doing your job," she said accurately. "Don't apologise for it. I'm not taking it personally."

"Good," he said but the worry was still present in his eyes.

"Forget about it Harry," she said kissing him briefly. "Now, its been a long day and I'm exhausted. Take me home." He smiled as she switched off her computer and then her lamp, the light flickering on her diamond engagement ring. Before she got far enough to reach the pods Harry grabbed her arm and kissed her thoroughly. After a long minute she broke away from him.

"Not that I'm not enjoying myself," she said with a teasing smile. "But its probably not the best idea to do this here where there are probably eight CCTV cameras on us."

"Well, they shouldn't be spying on the boss then should they?" he said kissing her again.

"Okay. I think I can put you down long enough to get to the car," he said after a while. Ruth smiled and they left the grid together.

* * *

_I would love a review if you have the time. Thanks xxx_


	21. Chapter 21

_This might be the last one, I thought I would end on a high so I hope you enjoy it._

_

* * *

_

Ruth opened up another box from the never ending pile. She was in the middle of unpacking from the recent move. It had taken all day and she still had loads to do. She was relieved to find the kettle in the box she had just opened and plugged it in straight away. She needed a cup of tea. Rummaging through the boxes she found mugs and teabags just as the kettle boiled. She stood by the kitchen window, watching the ocean waves crashing on the shoreline, feeling happy. The sunlight was shining down on the ocean and the sparkling brightness matched her mood. She turned and saw Harry watching her.

"You look so beautiful," he said walking closer to her. She blushed, unable to get used to the compliments from her husband. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"I'm busy unpacking," she said quietly. He ignored her and carried on kissing her. She closed her eyes for a minute and smiled in blissful happiness.

"Harry…" she muttered. "I have to get this done."

"Fine," he said with a smile. He reached around her and picked up his quickly cooling mug of tea. He took a sip and then looked back at Ruth.

"What is it?" he asked. Her eyes had taken on a faraway look that meant she was deep in thought.

"I just never imagined us doing something so normal," she said with a smile.

"Normal meaning retiring to a cottage by the beach?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Ruth replied smiling. "And reality beats my imagination by a mile."

"That's good to hear," he murmured before kissing her lips gently. It quickly became a more intense kiss and Ruth had to remind herself to keep breathing.

"Unpack later," he whispered against her lips. She thought that was an excellent idea.

* * *

_A big thank you to everyone who has been reading and especially reviewing these ideas. Hope you enjoyed them. xxx_


	22. Chapter 22

_I'm struggling to think of more Harry and Ruth fan fictions so I am adding some short stories to this one, just to keep me writing something. If anyone has any ideas for a short and sweet story message me_

* * *

Ruth could feel sleep slipping away from her even as she fought to hold on. Sighing, she opened her eyes and looked at her digital bedside clock. It read three in the morning and she had absolutely no reason to be awake. But she knew she wouldn't fall back to sleep, not now. After a moment she flicked her bedside lamp on and reached for her book. If she couldn't sleep, she might as well do something useful.

Before getting sucked in to her latest book she glanced at Harry, just to make sure that the light wasn't waking him. She smiled at his sleeping face and ran a hand through his hair lightly. She wanted to kiss him but knew if she did that he would definitely wake up so she resisted the temptation and settled for looking at him for a few long minutes. Then she opened her book and settled down to read.

* * *

Harry woke up out of a deep sleep when he heard the alarm buzz. It was quickly turned off by Ruth and Harry squinted at her, seeing her eyes flick over the page of her book.. He was surprised to find his head was resting on her stomach and his arms were wrapped around her tightly. She was wearing his shirt which she had taken to sleeping in and his hands ran over the fabric slowly.

"Morning," Ruth said quietly, not looking up from her book. Harry was about to move when he reconsidered, thinking that being so close to Ruth's skin in the early morning light was vastly preferable.

"How long have you been up?" Harry murmured against her.

"A while," Ruth replied, allowing one of her hands to stroke his head lightly. Harry moved so he could more easily face her but left his hands on her skin.

"You're not worried are you?" Harry asked. Ruth slipped her bookmark in and put her book aside before she looked at him.

"No, I just couldn't sleep. I'm not worried," she said. "Should I be?"

"No," Harry said firmly. The inquiry had been a constant presence at the back of both of their minds but neither of them mentioned it. As if by ignoring it, the impending disaster would go away. Ruth managed to forget about it for a moment as Harry kissed her neck while his hands wrapped themselves around her waist, pushing the fabric of his shirt higher. Ruth sighed in happiness as his lips moved slowly along her jaw. Somehow he managed to make her forget all the problems and troubles in their lives when he touched her. And held her. And kissed her. And when he showed her just how much he loved her.

* * *

_Reviews make my day. xxx_


	23. Chapter 23

_This is a bit different and I'm quite nervous about posting it._

Harry sighed as he was driving back to his house. That meeting with the JIC had gone on for about two hours longer than he had anticipated. And he hadn't been looking forward to it to begin with. As he pulled up in his driveway he looked at his watch. One in the morning, fantastic, he thought with a shrug as he locked his car behind him. He walked carefully upstairs because he didn't want to wake Ruth. He had told her he would be a while but knew she slept lightly when he wasn't with her. A fact which had made him inordinately pleased when he had first discovered it.

He opened the bedroom door and took a moment to watch Ruth sleeping. Her left leg was partly revealed by the duvet and he watched the moonlight on her pale skin before he approached her slowly. As he sat down on the bed, his weight disturbed her and she stirred towards him.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice hoarse with sleep.

"Fine," he said as he got undressed quickly, wanting to be close to Ruth as soon as possible. "Meeting ran long."

"What did you expect?" Ruth asked allowing herself to be held in his arms, ignoring how cold he was. "They're a bunch of useless politicians who's specialty is talking about themselves and their only interest is in saving their own skins. Present company excepted of course."

"Mm," Harry said kissing her hair softly. "Glad you added that last part." His hand drifted down her back and he was surprised to find she wasn't wearing anything at all. "Ruth," he said in a low voice.

"Just giving you incentive to come home to your loving wife," she said smiling into his chest.

"I don't need incentive," he said seriously tightening his arms around her. "Believe me, all through that tedious JIC meeting I was thinking of nothing but you."

"Good," she said. Now that Harry was home she allowed herself to fall into a deeper sleep while his hands were skimming over her bare skin comfortingly. She always slept better when Harry was there.

* * *

Ruth woke up feeling slightly uncomfortable. Then she realised why. Her face was pressed so close to Harry's chest that she was actually squashing her nose. She drew away from him a fraction but stayed close enough that she was still wrapped in his embrace. Ruth watched his sleeping face for a minute with happiness which quickly faded when he started muttering in his sleep.

"No…" he said quietly. "Don't… you can't…" Ruth wondered with a small stab of fear what was giving him such a bad dream. "Don't you dare hurt her," he said in such a menacing voice Ruth wondered if he'd woken up. But he hadn't. "You hurt her and I promise I will kill you." Ruth was about to say something to her when she felt his arms tighten around her. Much tighter than he'd ever held her before. In a grip that was bruising.

"Wake up," she said firmly. It had no effect on him or his muttering. His grip was now becoming really painful. "Harry wake up," she said loudly. "Wake up!" She kept repeating herself, trying to move one of her arms out of his grasp. With difficulty she managed it and slapped his face lightly, trying to get him to wake up.

"Come on Harry," she said as she felt the breath being squeezed out of her lungs. Never before had she realised how strong he really was. She slapped his face harder and knew that this time, he was awake. His arms fell away from her and he looked at her with confusion etched on his face. She rolled away from him breathing heavily. He wondered what had happened to make her react like that.

"Ruth?" he questioned.

"You were having a nightmare," she breathed without looking at him.

"Sorry if I woke you," he said completely unaware of what had happened. He waited for her to elaborate.

"You um…" Ruth tailed off not knowing how to explain but knowing she would have to. She turned and faced him leaning her head on her hand. "You had your arms around me and you… your grip got tighter and tighter…" she couldn't go on.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked quietly. He looked into her eyes and knew she wouldn't be able to look away from that gaze. But she didn't answer him. Instead he drew the duvet away from her skin and saw the angry red marks on her rib cage. The red marks marring her beautiful pale skin. The marks he had given her. He could tell that within hours they would turn into purple bruises and he hated himself for doing this to her.

"Oh God," he said. "Oh my God, I am so sorry. I…" Ruth shook her head at him to stop him from blaming himself.

"Don't," she said firmly. "It was a nightmare, that's all."

"But…" Harry couldn't word the horror he was currently feeling. He couldn't look into her eyes anymore. He got out of bed quickly and locked the bathroom door. Ruth sighed and picked up Harry's discarded shirt from the night before and slipped it on. She made sure it was buttoned up to cover the marks on her and knocked on the bathroom door. She wasn't going anywhere.

"Harry let me in," she said firmly. No reaction as she had expected. "I'll stand here all day if I have to. I'll be bloody annoyed but I'll do it." She waited and heard a loud smash from the bathroom. She knew he was taking his anger out on something and wasn't too worried but she continued knocking. Sure enough the door unlocked and she swung it open.

"Harry…" whatever she had been going to say was knocked right out of her head when she saw the bright red blood on his hand. "Because that's really going to help," she said sarcastically looking at a smashed mirror which he had clearly just punched. "Come here."

Harry moved only fractionally closer to her but it was enough. She could see shards of glass in his wound and picked up the first aid kit they kept in the bathroom. Being spooks for this long had taught them that much. She got the tweezers and picked the slivers of glass out of his hand carefully. He didn't resist her touch but he wouldn't look at her either.

"You must hate me," he said hollowly.

"I think you're hating yourself enough for the both of us," she said lightly. It was true. While he contemplated this, Ruth ran the tap and put his hand under the water to wash the blood away. Making sure her touch on his skin was soft she let the water run until all the pink blood had vanished. "Talk to me," Ruth asked.

"How can you be so okay with this?" Harry said quietly. "I hurt you. I want to keep you safe. I want you to be protected and I'm the one who did this to you."

"It's not like you hit me because you suddenly felt like it. You were having a nightmare!" Ruth said plainly. "What do you think? I'm going to leave you just because of a bad dream?" The look on his face made her see. That was exactly what he feared. "Oh Harry," she said sadly.

She leant against his chest, waiting for him to put his arms around her which took a minute. And when he did, it was the gentlest he had ever held her before. She stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed him. He didn't respond to her but she knew he couldn't resist her like this. Not for long. She was proved right. He was guarded and so careful but he was kissing her too. In that moment, Ruth felt pure relief. In that moment she knew that he would eventually forgive himself. She knew that they would get over this. Together.

* * *

_What do you think?_


	24. Chapter 24

_This is a slightly different one which I'm nervous about posting..._

Harry and Ruth's relationship had developed considerably over the past few months. But a lot between them seemed to be said without words. When they had spent as much time together as they had over the years, words seemed a little unnecessary and pointless. A kiss on the cheek meant goodbye and when it was accompanied by a light touch of fingertips it meant take care. Also, though it was never mentioned between them it meant I hope to see you again. I hope nothing bad happens until I get to kiss you again.

When he kissed her hair every morning she knew that meant he loved her which always resulted in her kissing his chest softly to tell him she felt the same. They didn't need to say words of love because it didn't need to be spoken to be real. To know how much they needed each other.

Even on the grid, it had helped. If they were in his office and she squeezed his hand that meant she had sympathy and compassion for the decisions he had to make. The hard ones that made her remember what kind of man he was and why she had fallen for him in the first place.

One glance through Harry's office window from Ruth and he knew something was wrong. He could usually guess what was wrong too before even speaking to her. A brief glance meant a minor problem. A longer glance when her eyes flashed to her computer screen and back to him meant they were going to have a sleepless night. A look when her blue eyes went wide meant that someone had died. At times, everyone else on the grid was amazed at their ability to have a conversation without words.

One particular occasion had been memorable. Ruth looked at Harry and he could see that someone had died. He emerged from his office and silently asked her who. Her eyes filled with a sudden sadness and he knew it was their undercover agent who'd died. Harry looked at her with his head tilted on one side to ask how he had died. Her glance at the floor told him that their agent had been shot by the Al Qaeda cell they were following, although he couldn't have explained how he knew that from her reaction. As this had been going on Dimitri had been watching their silent conversation in confusion, wondering what he had missed.

And most important message they shared was the kiss on the lips in the middle of the night. The one that said I'm not going anywhere. The one that meant I'm here for you. The one that told her that he'd do anything for her that was within his power. The one that said I'll love you until the end of time.

* * *

_Reviews mean the world to me, they let me know if I'm writing well or badly..._


	25. Chapter 25

_A short nice and fluffy chapter to make up for being so mean to HR in Ill. This is the first draft so I apologise for all mistakes. Please review!_

Ruth was in the shower letting the hot water run over her skin. She didn't think she had ever been so relaxed this early in the morning. Eventually she switched the water off and immediately heard her doorbell ringing insistently. Ruth stepped out of the shower and quickly wrapped a towel around her and ran downstairs to the door. She opened it and was shocked to see Harry standing there. She saw his eyes focus on what she was wearing, or rather not wearing before his gentlemanly like behaviour kicked in and he focused on her face. Which he personally felt wasn't that much better because he couldn't tear his eyes away from the water droplets on her face and her wet hair curling around her ears delightfully.

"You better come in," Ruth said moving aside and letting him in to her house. He walked past her and she shut the door before any of her nosey neighbours started paying attention to her.

"So why are you here?" Ruth asked as she sat down carefully. "Did you want me?"

_God you have no idea how badly I want you_, Harry thought to himself but luckily he didn't say it, sitting down opposite her. "There's a problem with your Russian intelligence yesterday."

"No there isn't," she said with surety. She knew damn well it was perfectly fine.

"Okay, not really but you have thrown up some terror suspects so I thought I could give you a lift in to Thames house. Once you're dressed, obviously." Ruth could see his face tinged slightly red and decided to have a little fun with him.

"Oh, are you not appreciating the view then?" Ruth said with a raised eyebrow. She was pleased to see that Harry's eyes dropped to her legs before he regained control of himself.

"Trust me, I love the view but I daresay you'll be a bit of a distracting presence on the grid dressed like that," Harry replied.

"I thought you liked being distracted by me," Ruth said with an evil glint in her eye.

"Shut up and get dressed," Harry added, unable to take a teasing Ruth for much longer.

"If you insist," Ruth replied. She got up from her chair and turned to go upstairs. What she didn't realise was as she was walking away Harry's eyes were memorising the freckles on her back. Every single one of them.

"Ruth?" Harry said just before she disappeared. She turned and faced him with a curious look on her face. Harry didn't say anything else, he put a hand around her towel covered waist and pulled her in for a breathtaking kiss. She didn't resist for even a second. He deepened the kiss after a moment, knowing that she wanted this just as much as he did. Ruth gasped as Harry's hand tightened in the tangles of her wet hair. She suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable wearing nothing but a towel, whereas Harry was fully dressed. She pulled away from him and he looked confused.

"I feel somewhat at a disadvantage," she said breathlessly. Harry looked at her as his fingertips trailed across her collarbone in a searing touch. Then his fingertips drifted lower. Ruth caught his hand with her own. "Not like this," she said in a seductive whisper. "I am going to get dressed."

"Spoilsport," he called after her. She smiled but reached the relative sanctuary of her bedroom and started to get dressed. But before she did she had a momentary thought. She picked out the one set of black underwear that she owned. She never wore it because she never saw the need. The knickers were made of a gorgeous black silk as were the bra straps. But the cups were a thin black lace. She decided she would wear them today. Just in case.


	26. Chapter 26

Ruth unlocked her front door clumsily left handed. Her right hand was throbbing incredibly badly and she didn't want to use it more than necessary. As soon as she shut the door she was pulled into Harry's arms.

"Are you alright?" he murmured into her hair.

"Yeah I'm fine," she reassured him as he let her go. He ran his eyes over her as if not believing her words. Double checking that she was indeed in one piece. "How on earth did you get home before me?" she asked. "You told me to come straight home otherwise you'd sack me," she said in a tone which clearly said I'd like to see you try it.

"Give me your hand," Harry said as they walked through to the kitchen. She held out her right hand and he had a look at the knife cut going all the way across her palm. It looked very deep. In silence he held her hand under the tap and ran cold water over it. She sucked in her breath as it stung painfully.

"Sorry," he said quietly as he cleansed the wound on Ruth's hand. He hated seeing her in pain, it was even worse when it was his fault. When her hand was clean they both sat down next to each other at the kitchen table. Harry carefully wrapping a bandage around her hand.

"You should be on the grid," she told him.

"Shut up," he said in a simple voice. She smiled. "You know that was really stupid what you did, don't you?"

"Yeah," she agreed as he tightened the bandage. When he was finished he held her uninjured hand tightly.

"Ruth?" he said quietly, waiting until she looked into his eyes. "Don't ever do that to me again. Don't ever put yourself in danger like that. Please."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "I didn't exactly do it on purpose." He looked into her eyes and could see them shimmering with feeling.

"Oh, come here," he murmured, pulling her in for a deep kiss. A kiss that neither one of them ever wanted to end.

* * *

_I dropped a knife in the kitchen at work today and it sliced my palm open. I'm fine but I thought a similar idea could work for these two._


	27. Chapter 27

Theoretically around 10:4 ish. My own musings about Ruth's thoughts because I am going crazy waiting for the next spooks episode.

* * *

Ruth closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against the cool glass window. Everyday that went past it felt as if Harry found a new low. She thought that by now he would have run out of ways to hurt her but the new knife wounds on her heart told her otherwise. He was in love with Elena and he didn't even bother to deny it. And that hurt her more than she thought possible. A long time ago she had given up realistic hopes of her and Harry ever getting together. It was something she reserved for her most private dreams, but the way this new development hurt her, the sheer pain of it on her heart was shocking.

She had heard it said that everyone falls completely and irrevocably in love only once in their lives, if they were lucky. She knew that Harry was the one for her. She had known for years, even if nothing happened between them. She had never felt this way about anyone else and she knew she never would. Somehow, over the years she had fallen a little more in love with him everyday.

But now everything was falling apart for her. It didn't bother her that Harry had loved Elena, it bothered her that he might possibly feel the same way for Elena that Ruth felt towards him. The way she'd always felt for him. A love that didn't diminish with time or distance. A love that could never fade no matter what came between them. That hurt her. It hurt so much that it took her breath away.

She remembered the last time Harry had made questionable operational decisions for someone. Albany. And it had been for her. Had that all been a lie? Had it really been because the Albany file was in fact useless? Had what he told the inquiry actually been the truth and his personal feelings didn't matter at all? Maybe he didn't have any feelings for her in the first place. When that thought occurred to her she shook her head trying to clear the images in her mind. God, it hurt so much. Whenever she thought about Harry it hurt her and she thought about him all the time. She wondered how much one heart could take. Because hers felt like it was at breaking point.

* * *

_If its not too much to ask, please leave a review. I have a happy fluffy (and slightly unrealistic) entry in mind next_.


	28. Chapter 28

_Absolutely pointless plotless fluff, but I wanted happiness before tonights episode. Maybe I'll still have a beacon of hope for HR com 10pm tonight!_

* * *

Ruth woke up to Harry's hand gently exploring her bare body. She smiled, still with her eyes closed and turned closer to him. She felt his other hand join the first, touching her more firmly and she sighed happily. "Enjoying yourself?" he asked in a growl of a voice that made her shiver to her very core.

"Mm," she replied. "Good morning." His only response was to kiss her lips in a feather light embrace. "I like waking up like this," she added finally opening her eyes and smiling into his brown ones.

"Yes, Harry murmured against her lips. "I'm rather partial to it myself." He settled himself on the pillows, stroking her hair softly, his fingers ending up just below her collarbone "I love your longer hair," he mused quietly.

"Yeah, well don't get too attached to it," Ruth said bluntly. "I'm having it cut off this afternoon."

"What? Harry said blankly, leaning on his elbow to watch her face in the morning light.

"I'm getting so frustrated with it," she said honestly. "I mean to get it cut about a month ago but… something came up on the grid."

"Okay," Harry said leaning forward to kiss her lips again. "Speaking of which we should probably get moving. Operations to control. Paperwork to file. Terrorists to catch..."

"Employees to kiss?" Ruth suggested with an evil smile.

"Just the one employee," he replied with a long slow kiss to illustrate his point.

Ruth sighed and then swung her legs out of bed. "Okay, I think I have the energy to move."

"You can't possibly be tired," Harry said. "You've been in bed for more than ten hours."

"Yes and we _weren't_ sleeping, she said pointedly. Harry grinned, silently conceding that she had a point. He watched her get out of bed and wondered for a moment if he was the luckiest man in the world.

* * *

_Reviews make me very happy and make me want to come up with more HR fluffiness, so leave one if you want more._


	29. Chapter 29

_Next entry, a little angsty for a while but bear with me. It gets better._

* * *

Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this happy. He wondered if he had actually ever been this happy. Ruth was lying next to him after their very first time together. And it had been wonderful, intense, passionate and perfect. Ruth had her back to him and he put a hand on Ruth's shoulder and was shocked that she seemed to be shaking. "Ruth?" he asked in a low voice. "What's wrong?" She turned over, keeping the duvet close to her and he was shocked, hurt and horrified to see tears rolling down her face.

"Oh, God, what is it?" Harry said hollowly, feeling his heart shatter into so many pieces it felt irreparable. She brushed the tears away from her face impatiently as he kept going. "I'm so sorry, I thought it was what we both wanted. Look, if you want to go home, I'll drive you, or call you a taxi. Whatever you want."

"Sh," she said quietly, putting her fingertips over his lips to stop his babbling. "Let me explain." He nodded once and she dropped her fingers. "Firstly, I don't want to go home," she said, trying to put his mind at ease. "I do not regret a single second of what happened between us tonight. And I never will."

"Then why are you crying?" he asked quietly, he felt horrified at himself for making her look like this.

"They're happy tears," she told him reassuringly with a small smile, her hand resting on his chest lightly. "I promise you, they're definitely happy tears. I never thought it was possible to feel like this. For me to feel this way."

"Feel… like what?" Harry asked, stroking her hair softly, now that he felt fairly sure she wasn't going to run away from him.

"I don't really know how to describe it," she said slowly. She took in a deep breath and thought about how to put it. "So… happy, desired, wanted and loved all at the same time. As well as the best sex of my life," she added with a smile. "You touched me with such intense feeling. I just found it all a little… overwhelming. That's all. That's why I was crying."

Harry didn't say anything because he understood. He understood perfectly. He pulled her close and kissed her face slowly, tasting her tears on his tongue.

"And promise me one thing," Ruth said when his lips left her face. "Promise me you will never, ever apologise for touching me again."

"I think I can manage that," he murmured. He kissed her lips softly and then pulled away from her. "You did scare me," he replied. "Crying like that."

"Sorry," she said.

"Well I was a little surprised," Harry said, his hands beginning to slowly wander over her body. "After all, you _sounded_ like you were having a good time."

"Harry," she said quietly with admonishment. She pulled herself closer to him, her head leaning on his chest and closed her eyes. Harry smiled as he felt her eyelashes bat against his skin slightly. She was so close to him, so close that he had never truly imagined this was possible with their relationship. With his arms wrapped around her waist, he felt as if all his dreams had come true at once. 


	30. Chapter 30

_No plot, random rambling. Enjoy anyway._

* * *

Ruth was wrapped tightly in the duvet and she was shivering. "Why is it so damn cold!" she said out of frustration. Harry looked at her across the room and smiled at her.

"I seem to remember that I have a method that might warm you up," he said in a slow seductive voice. She shivered again but this time it wasn't from the temperature. Harry sat down on the bed and leaned over her, giving her a brief kiss. Her hand emerged from the duvet and stroked his face softly.

"My God, you are cold," he agreed.

"Told you," she said tucking her arm back under the duvet as Harry started to get undressed. Ruth was concentrating on the view rather than what Harry was saying and she realised he'd asked her a question. "Sorry, I wasn't listening," she said with a smile. "What did you say?"

"Are you getting somewhat distracted?" Harry asked with a small wicked smile.

"Maybe," she replied as Harry got under the covers. She hadn't stopped looking at him for a single second.

"Do you know how long I've imagined you looking at me like that?" Harry asked quietly.

"Like what?" she asked, genuinely curious as Harry's hands gently ran up and down her arms.

"Like… you can't resist me," Harry said, almost shyly.

"Well, that's because I can't," she said with a smile before giving him a slow loving kiss on the lips. She felt Harry's hand slide under the jumper she was wearing and she pulled away slightly. "I wasn't joking, I am cold."

"Give me five minutes and I'm sure I can fix that," Harry said, his fingertips sliding over her waist.

"Five minutes?" Ruth questioned with raised eyebrows. "You've got a high opinion of yourself."

"Just going on past experience," he murmured, his lips finding the curve of her neck.

"Mmm…" Ruth's eyes flickered shut as he kept kissing her skin. Her hands settled on his chest, her fingertips gently tracing his skin. He smiled at her as she continued to moan and sigh quietly. He pushed her jumper out of the way and slowly felt the contours of her spine. He took his time exploring her body and loved the way she shifted closer to his touch. He kept teasing her, making sure he was only using his hands.

"Oh, come here," she said impatiently, opening her eyes. She pulled him close and kissed him thoroughly.

"Warming up yet?" he asked.

"Oh yes," she said with a smile. He kissed her again and it was a long time before he stopped.

* * *

_A review would be lovely if you have a second._


	31. Chapter 31

Ruth woke up, incredibly comfortable and opened her eyes. She suddenly felt surprised as she was in a room she didn't recognise. And then she remembered. They were in a very nice, exclusive London hotel. Putting her head back on the feather pillows she turned over to face the man she loved more than she thought possible.

"Finally awake are you?" Harry murmured with a smile and his eyes closed.

"Yes," she replied. "Yesterday was rather a tiring day if you remember rightly."

"Mm," he murmured, his hand slowly inching towards her hip. She sighed as he started stroking her bare skin, his second hand joining the first after a few seconds. This felt so good. She moved closer to him and gently set her lips on his. The slow good morning kiss became more passionate incredibly quickly until Ruth pulled away from him. He looked at her with one eyebrow raised curiously.

"I'm still utterly exhausted from last night," she said in explanation.

"I can't help it that you're so tempting," Harry said, his hands sneaking further down her body. "I mean, wearing nothing at all? Could give a man the wrong impression you know."

She smiled for a long moment before she corrected him. "You can get any impression you like," she said with a glint in her eyes. "Anyway, I am wearing something." Harry didn't speak, instead he slowly ran his hands over her body, making her shiver and gasp.

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am." Ruth shifted the duvet and put her hand on his chest lightly, right over his heart which she could feel steadily beating. "My wedding ring," she murmured. Harry laced his fingers with hers and then raised her hand to his lips. He kissed the thin gold band on her finger. The gold band that had been placed there only yesterday.

"I'm going to have to insist that you don't take that off," Harry said, keeping her hand held in his tightly.

"I can live with that," she said with a smile. Wrapping her arms around Harry she rested her head against his chest and fell asleep to the reassuring beat of his heart.

* * *

_I was in charge of the hotel bills today and got a shock when I read one name. Room 3, checking out today was Mrs Ruth Pearce. I am hoping this is a good omen for tonight. Fingers crossed!_


	32. Chapter 32

Ruth was lying in bed feeling absolutely rotten. She had so many blankets on the bed because of this illness she was fighting. She had wanted to go into work but after standing up once and shaking Harry had made her see the sense in staying in bed. She sniffed once and glanced up as the bedroom door opened. Harry looked at her, a smile on his face.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, kneeling on the bedroom floor so they were at eye level.

"Horrible," she said, too tired to lie."You didn't have to leave the grid to check on me. I'll be fine lying here for a few more hours."

"I like checking on you," he said kissing her forehead lightly. She smiled at that. "Can I do anything for you?"

"I'd love a cup of tea, if you don't mind," Ruth said honestly. She had been debating whether she felt well enough to get up and switch the kettle on just before he came home.

"Coming right up," he said.

He stroked her hair and then left to make her drink. Ruth got some energy together and sat up, looking in the mirror across the room. "Oh my God," she murmured. She looked like a mess. Her hair was dull and tangled, she had dark circles under her eyes and she looked very pale. As well as that her nose was tinged red, because of the amount of tissues she'd been using. Not exactly the way she wanted Harry to see her. She pulled her fingers through her hair to try and erase some of the worst tangles but she couldn't do much for anything else. Harry came in and handed her the tea. She wrapped her fingers around the warm mug and smiled briefly. He sat on the other side of the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist in a comforting manner. She was stiff with him and nervous, he could tell.

"What's wrong?" he demanded in a voice that wasn't going to be denied.

"This… it isn't how I want you to see me. Tired, looking like a mess and ill, that's not how I want you to picture me," she said shaking her head. "I'd like to think you saw me as beautiful and sexy… Well, maybe not sexy because, lets face it, it is me and I have to be realistic. But beautiful. I want you to think of me that way, not this weak ill woman who can't get out of bed."

Harry shook his head sadly. He turned her head and kissed her, slowly and softly. "You are beautiful," he whispered before giving her another kiss. "So beautiful I lost my heart the first time I set my eyes on you." She relaxed as he kissed her and she managed to believe what he as saying. "Maybe not when you're recovering in bed from an illness," he said continuing. "But you are sexy."

"Harry…" she said quietly blushing.

"I mean it," he said, with a wicked smile. "You have no idea what you do to me, and that makes you even more desirable." He kissed her hair again before she lay back down in the bed. He wrapped himself around her as she fell asleep. "I love you," he whispered when she was too far gone in sleep to respond. "You have no idea how much I love you." He breathed her in for a few more minutes until he knew he had to be getting back to Thames House. He quickly wrote a note and left it by her cooling cup of tea. It was short but it said all that was really needed.

_R, Call me if you need anything. I love you, H xxx_

* * *

_I can't seem to get through a day without writing spooks fanfiction of some description... I love reviews so it would mean a lot to me if you'd leave one!_


	33. Chapter 33

_This scene came to me just now so thought I'd add it to my S+S story. Hope you like it..._

* * *

Ruth was lying on her back and reading a book when she heard her front door close quietly. Looking at the clock she saw that it had already gone past eleven o'clock. Harry was earlier than she'd anticipated. Finishing her paragraph she slipped her bookmark in just as he opened the bedroom door. She smiled at him even as her breath caught. He looked incredibly handsome when he was dressed up in a suit for a evening out, she thought just before he leant over her and kissed her softly.

"Good evening?" she asked as he took his tie off and sat on the bed next to her.

"Boring one," he said. "It seems that two years ago or so, politicians actually wanted to talk to me. My decisions or counter terrorist actions, whatever was the flavour of the day. Now all anyone did all night was ask me where my beautiful wife was this evening."

"Glad to know I make an impression," she said with a smile.

"Well I'm not," he said taking his jacket off. "Its become clear to me that at these events quite a few politicians pay you more attention than they should do. Including Towers, who seemed far too interested in the answer."

"William Towers doesn't have your many attractions, trust me."

"Hmm," he replied, unimpressed.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were slightly jealous," Ruth said with a smile, sitting up.

"I missed having the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm tonight, so I actually had to mingle with those idiots and they are a boring lot." Ruth reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled him close for a long satisfying kiss. "That helps a little," he whispered across her lips. She laughed lightly and kissed him again.

"I did offer to go with you tonight," she reminded him. "And if you hadn't been so stubborn and overprotective, I'd have been there."

"I want you to concentrate on growing our son," he whispered, kissing her prominent bump softly.

"I'm eight months pregnant, I'm not ill," she said as he continued getting undressed. Her voice was critical but it had a soft edge to it so he didn't take her too seriously.

"You would have insisted on wearing heels wouldn't you?" Harry asked.

"Of course I would," she said. "I'm far too short."

"And you'd have been on your feet for hours," Harry said. "That wasn't happening."

"I'm not arguing," she replied. "I'm glad you're home."

He kissed her collarbone once before turning over to sleep. Ruth stroked his back slightly wistfully. She had enjoyed the way he used to hold her before they slept, his arms tight around her waist. She was too pregnant for that to happen at the moment. Her quiet thoughts were interrupted when she felt Harry's hand rest on her stomach and then a ferocious kick from their baby against his palm.

"I love both of you," he whispered sleepily, as if just remembering he hadn't yet said it that evening.

"I love you too Harry," she said, planting a kiss on his shoulder. "Goodnight."


	34. Chapter 34

**A combination of lack of ideas and reading a fantastic book means my HR writing has slowed down significantly. Here's a tiny update for this ffic, and I have a new M rated chapter in "The Morning After" for those who haven't seen it. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ruth was on her side in bed, curled up reading a book while waiting for Harry to come home. He had a late meeting in Whitehall so she wasn't really expecting him home until past midnight. She had been living with Harry for just over a month and was revelling in the fact that she was unexpectedly happy with her relationship. Harry clearly loved her and it was nice to feel wanted. She loved him just as much and she could honestly say that she'd never felt like this before. She smiled to herself as the thought occurred to her and returned to her book, knowing Harry would be at least an hour yet. Which was where Harry found her when he came home, her head on the pillows, eyes shut and her book fluttered closed as she had clearly been reading it.

Leaning over her, he kissed her cheek gently, but it was enough to make her wake. She blearily looked at him, blue eyes sparkling as he kissed her again. "How did it go?" she asked in between hello kisses. Neither of them had got over the novelty of their relationship and both enjoyed the kisses, touches and caresses they had denied themselves for so long. So much so that it was a while before he replied.

"It was fine," he said, sitting on the end of the bed and taking his jacket off. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No. Why?" she asked, a small frown on her face.

"The book you're reading," he said simply. "You're not that bored of me already are you?"

She looked at the book and smiled, even though under the teasing she knew there was genuine concern there. Before replying she found her place in her copy of "fifty shades of grey," slipped her bookmark in and placed it on the bedside table.

"You know perfectly well that I am not and could never be bored with you," Ruth said, sitting up and wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him slowly, as if to reiterate her point. "I love you."

"I know," he said, slightly mollified. "I just wonder sometimes if you'll wake up and realise that you could do so much better than me. Find someone younger. More attractive. More worthy of you." Ruth paused before replying, wanting her words to sink in properly.

"Harry, I love everything about you. Even when you frustrate me and drive me crazy. Your intelligence, your integrity, your want to do the right thing, even when sometimes on the grid it feels impossible. And I find you incredibly attractive Harry. You have no idea what you can do to me with just a look."

He smiled at her, reassured and she felt special that he would confide his fears to her, even when he worried. "Thank you," he whispered before another lingering kiss.

"I was reading it because I wanted to know what all the fuss was about," she said as Harry started to undress and get into bed next to her. "I must say I'm disappointed so far. Very mediocre. Or maybe its simply that I'm having such great sex with you I don't need to read about other peoples exploits."

"Oh is that so?" Harry queried with a raised eyebrow getting into bed and pulling the duvet over them both. Harry wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing her neck.

"Mind you, the suggestion that the female lead have her hands tied up with his tie while they had sex was rather interesting." Harry stopped kissing her and stared at her while Ruth giggled at the look on his face. "Just an idea," she said her blue eyes brimming with mischief.

"Oh, in that case we'll arrange that for some time in the future," Harry murmured in a voice that made her shiver deep inside.

"Okay," she agreed easily. But for the moment she was very content to let him kiss her for as long as he wanted as their bodies tangled together wonderfully.


	35. Merry Christmas

**Merry Christmas**

* * *

Ruth was on the phone in her kitchen. Harry could tell that before he even rang the doorbell. It was dark outside, the Christmas lights sparkling here and there down the street and her figure was silhouetted on the curtains. He knew she was on the phone because she was pacing back and forth and running an agitating hand through her hair. God, he knew her so well. Making up his mind in a moment of firm decision he rang the doorbell. Ruth opened the door surprisingly quickly, still on the phone. Her eyes smiled at him and she moved aside so he could go in. He did, feeling slightly odd that Ruth's attention wasn't solely on him. "Yes of course I can hold," she said somewhat sarcastically. "One of my many talents. Sorry Harry," she said when it was clear that no one was on the other end. "I can't hang up, its taken me ages to speak to an actual person."

"Its fine," he said, smiling slightly at her.

"Drink?"

"Tea please." Ruth smiled and wedged the phone between her ear and her shoulder while she boiled the kettle and put milk and sugar in the mugs.

"Yes I'm still here," Ruth said suddenly. "Well what on earth is it doing in Sunderland? Look, I paid you for this, in fact I overpaid you for it two months ago in order to beat the Christmas rush. And I paid an extortionate amount in delivery, so please can you send it to me?" A pause as she listened and Harry took a sip of his tea. "No, I don't want a refund, I want the item I paid for. Yes. Recorded delivery? I insist. Okay. Thank you. I'm sure I'll speak to you again tomorrow when it hasn't arrived. Goodbye."

She put the phone down with exasperation and sighed as she sat down opposite Harry. "I've come home at a bad time haven't I?"

"No," she said. "I'm having a nightmare getting one of my Christmas presents delivered. They're useless."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Unfortunately its yours," she said. "I ordered it early and still no joy." She sighed heavily. "Anyway, what are you doing here?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "Not that you aren't welcome, you are. Sorry. Long day."

"I'm going up to Manchester to see Catherine and Graham over Christmas," he said quietly. "I wanted to give you your gift before I left."

"No, don't," she said blushing slightly. "It'll only make me feel worse that I don't have yours yet."

"I want to give it to you," he said. "Please let me." She stayed silent for a moment and then nodded, much to his relief. He reached for the gift in his jacket pocket and put it on the table. Ruth could tell it was a jewellery box, even wrapped up.

"If you've spent too much on me I'll be furious."

"Just open it," Harry said, smiling softly at her. Her lips twitched and she took the gift, carefully unwrapping it. She slowly popped the jewellery box open and gasped.

"Oh no Harry," she said. "That's far too much for you to spend on me!"

"Do you like it?" he asked, ignoring her comment.

"Harry, its… stunning." Her finger gently traced the edge of the silver Tiffany necklace lightly. "Is that pendant a real diamond? God, its Tiffany's. Of course it is," she added, answering her own question. She slowly closed the box and handed it back to him, sliding it across the table. "I can't accept it."

"Yes you can," he said. "I want you to wear it. Unless this is your diplomatic way of telling me you don't like it."

"Harry, I don't think any woman in the world would dislike it," she said. "That would have cost more than my mortgage for a year!"

"It didn't," he said. "Don't worry about the money. I pulled a couple of strings and got it at a discount. I thought… it would look beautiful on your neck." Ruth sighed and he could tell that she was warring with herself. "Allow me?" She nodded and felt her breath catch as he put the necklace around her and fastened it carefully. His fingertips were warm on her skin and she felt her heart begin to race. His hand went to the pendant without thinking. "Beautiful."

"Thank you," she said, still with his touch resting on the necklace. Without thinking Ruth leaned forward to kiss him.

"What are you doing?" he asked in surprise, backing away from her.

"Making things simple," Ruth said. "I'm just… forgetting all of our history and just doing what I want."

"Are you sure?"

"Its just a kiss," she said, her eyes betraying how much more it really was.

"Ruth… its you and I," he said. "Its never "just" anything."

"I know," she agreed all too quickly. "I'm going to kiss you anyway." She grabbed his tie and pulled him close, but he didn't need much persuasion. They shared a blissful moment together and when they broke apart both were smiling. "Go to Manchester. I'll be waiting when you get back. When do you get back?"

"Twenty seventh."

"Good," she said. "I'll have your gift by then or someone's going to die."

"Don't go too mad," he said. He kissed her once more. "You're not going to regret this?"

"I regret not doing it sooner," she said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Ruth," he said. "And I refuse to take that necklace back. It looks too good on you."

"You do know how to spoil a woman Harry Pearce."

He went to whisper in her ear. "You have no idea," he said seductively. She couldn't help the shiver that ran through her as he left her house. Her fingers were resting on the diamond as she smiled to herself. In the end that hadn't been that hard. To simply act on impulse. She should have done it years ago.

* * *

**I am having no joy with my dads Christmas present which inspired this little bit. Could be tempted to write the reunion on the 27th if its wanted. Thanks for reading.**


	36. And a Happy New Year

**As every single reviewer wanted what happened next, I wrote it. Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry parked outside his house on the evening of the twenty seventh and he knew Ruth was there. A light was on and her car was down the street. He felt very pleased that she was here, in spite of the long journey he'd had to go back home. Suddenly he didn't feel tired any longer and he wanted to see her. He opened his door and saw the alarm was disabled, privately wondering how she had the number. He walked through to the lounge and smiled. Ruth was dozing on the sofa, her hand draping on the floor as Scarlet sniffed her fingers warily. The dog looked at Harry and tilted her head as if to say "_is she allowed?_" Scarlet's nose kept twitching and Harry leaned down and stroked the dog. "She's okay," Harry said smiling. Scarlet wagged her tail and then curled up by the radiator, her job done. Harry knelt on the floor and gently roused her. "Ruth."

"Hm?" She blinked awake and came back to herself. "Oh sorry," she said as she realised she'd been sleeping in his house.

"If you wanted to sleep in my house I have a perfectly good bed upstairs," he said. The words weren't too explicit but the tone made her blush.

"Harry Pearce, you're flirting with me," she said quietly.

"I am," he agreed, a smile hovering around his eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," she said after a moment. "Your present's on the coffee table." He almost said "you didn't have to get me anything" but he refrained, especially as he noticed her Tiffany necklace still on her neck. Instead he picked up the wrapped gift which was clearly a bottle of something alcoholic. "How are your family?"

"Well," Harry said. "I met my grandson for the first time too." His face broke into a happy grin.

"I didn't know you had one," Ruth said, surprised.

"He's only two months old," Harry said. "Arthur. He's Graham's. I rather got the feeling Graham was scared I was going to criticise him. But I managed to leave with no bloodshed."

"Good," Ruth said, smiling to herself. "Knowing the Pearce temper as well as I do, I'm guessing that's a minor miracle."

"Yes," Harry agreed fervently. Ruth laughed.

"Open it," she added, nodding at the bottle. Harry sat down next to her and did as she asked.

"Ruth…" he said as the wrapping paper revealed an extremely rare bottle of whisky. "There were only about two hundred of these ever distilled."

"One hundred and ninety five actually," she said easily, pleased he seemed to like it. "I know less than nothing about whisky but it seemed to be… appropriate."

"Its perfect," he said. "And far too expensive. I know what these fetch."

"Says the man who bought me a Tiffany necklace," Ruth replied, smiling at him. "I've missed you. Badly." This was more forward than they ever usually were with each other and he set the bottle back on the table, and took her hand gently. He ran his finger gently over her knuckles and she sighed as they continued to touch, sensually and almost bordering on erotically. Eventually she pulled her hand back from him, kissing him instead. Their lips collided in a surprisingly passionate embrace. Without having any memory of how she got there, Ruth found herself lying on the sofa, Harry hovering above her, his body pushing into hers comfortingly. She swallowed uncomfortably, afraid of what might be said to the suggestion she longed to voice.

"Harry… shall we take this upstairs?"

"Only once you've told me why you look scared," he said. Controlling his body was taking all of his self control.

"I'm afraid you'll say no," she admitted. "Especially for some stupid reason."

"What have you done with my shy and nervous Ruth?" he asked, kissing her neck.

"She worked out what she wanted," Ruth said simply. "That's all." Harry smiled and kissed her deeply. It took them a long time to stop long enough so they could move from the sofa.

* * *

Harry groaned as his alarm clock beeped far too early in the morning. He hit it to stop the beeping because his dream had been so good. Ruth here, with him. Her warm soft skin beneath his. Her moans and quiet whimpers as she climaxed around him. He didn't want to wake up. He wanted to sink back into his heavenly dreams. Harry sighed as he threw the duvet back and got out of bed. What surprised him was Ruth pulling the sheets back around her, moaning quietly as the cold air hit her skin. "Thank God," Harry whispered to himself. It had actually been real.

"Harry, do you mind if I stay in bed for a bit? Nowhere else to be and I'm too comfy to move."

"I don't mind," he said, smiling at her. As she had worked over Christmas she didn't have to be on the grid until the second of January. "Stay here all day."

"You sure?"

"Yes," he said. He leaned over her and kissed her lingeringly. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said, smiling as she rolled over and went back to sleep. It didn't seem to matter that they'd never said those words to each other. Because they both already knew how they felt about each other. By the time Harry was dressed Ruth was asleep and her quiet even breathing was all that could be heard in the silence of the morning. Harry ached to touch her but he didn't want to disturb. So he left the house quietly and went to work, a broad smile on his face.

* * *

**Hope this lived up to expectations.**


End file.
